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Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

by PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.  

 

by JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it -- the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.  

 

by DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!  

 

by ROSS PEROT

This chart I have here, Larry, clearly shows the various reasons why decent, hard working chickens cross roads... and this graph here illustrates the economic impact those patriotic chickens have had on our great country over the last several years.  

 

by ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain.  

 

by MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.  

 

by GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.  

 

by ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.  

 

by KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.  

 

by HOMER SIMPSON

Mmmmmmm... Chicken...  

 

by SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.  

 

by CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.  

 

by FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?  

 

by FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.  

 

by BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.  

 

by EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?  

 

by BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?  

 

by AL GORE

Don't forget, I took the initiative to create the road the chicken crossed.  

 

by LOUIS FARRAKHAN

The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.  

 

by POPEYE

Because they yam what they yam.  

 

by THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.  

 

by COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?  

 

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